Today you would have been fifteen.
So how did we mark the date?
We dug a huuuge hole in the sand.
At the same spot you did when you were eight.
Armed with our rather large shovel,
We did what you loved to do.
We were exactly where we shared our last holiday,
So it felt like the perfect thing to do.
It was a perfect summer’s evening.
Very much like when we were here with you.
We dug until we could no more.
And then mischievously climbed in like you would do!
Although we had lots of fun,
And harnessed your energy, being bright and breezy,
The huge hole left by you,
Is of course very much far from easy.
The metaphor was abundantly obvious,
That with the hole the sand changed form.
A gaping void left without you,
And life having to find a new norm.
And the proximity to the shore line,
A symbol of life’s fragility.
That all of sudden the tide can wash things away,
Regardless of perceived stability.
Oblivious to the hidden meaning,
Eight year old you would have loved being at the beach.
And for us it was a poignant way,
To mark that you’re sadly out of reach.
But sadness wasn’t your style,
You were brave and bold and fun loving.
So we focused on the hole,
And kept on with our shovelling!
So happy birthday, Jess!
As always, we mix celebration of your life with immeasurable sadness.
But I’m thankful fo the 8 years we had you,
Your love of life, spirit and incredibly lovable madness :)
Birthdays now are a funny old thing,
A day of celebration and sadness all heaped together.
Of course we remember the greatness you were,
Whilst knowing painfully we’ll miss you forever.
Birthday memories include your delight at a 5am start,
A party or trip with your friends.
Muktitasking cards, gifts, visits and cake,
Metaphorically burning the candle both ends!
But of course time moves on,
You’d be a teen at thirteen!
Super cool and know your own mind.
So perhaps we’d see a change this year,
From chaos to a little more serene?
I’m guessing of course - it’s impossible to know.
It’s a hunch how you’d have felt and shined.
Memories fuse with speculation and become a big blur.
But your spirit lives on in my mind.
So whilst I fondly remember your very special day,
And the magnificence of all that was “You”.
I mourn so greatly that you never grew up,
To be the wonderful teen who we wish we still knew. ❤️
Today was the second time I joined #Candlelighters on their Day of Memories. For me, that meant a day full of emotion, a whole lot of tears and sadly, recognition that this club we all find ourselves part of is far too big. Sombreness aside, it was a beautiful event, with some amazingly talented performers and it was a honour to be able to share some of my own words of poetry with the group too. The power of memories is so bitter sweet, and I for one thought you got the balance spot on. And for the beautiful flowers too. – thank you
The power of a memory,
Is the most magical thing I know.
It takes you momentarily back,
To a place you can no longer exactly go.
The power of a memory,
Is a force that can be hard to hold in.
Perhaps sparked by an object,
Or perhaps by a place you’ve been.
The power of a memory,
Evokes often a smile, sometimes a tear on your cheek.
A momentary time hop,
To when you could see each other, touch and speak.
But the power of a memory,
Whilst it can fill you with joy or leave you sad,
Is a super way to remember,
The shared times together, the joint experiences that you had.
So we’re just back from our second family holiday without Jess. Following the J.E.S.S.I.C.A. new holiday tradition meant we were destined for somewhere beginning with E…… easier said than done with COVID restrictions still in full force. Not ones to be beaten, we decided to think a little creatively and settle on ‘eeeeek…let’s go back to the very place where Jess had her last holiday .. and relax in an equisite apartment, exceptionally near the beach!’ And whilst the holiday made me conquer a fair few firsts (seeing places we’ve not seen since Jess was with us in person), we remembered lots of happy Jess memories too; digging holes, pushing boats, playing on the beach, eating well and buying football shirts to name but a few, whilst making a few more she would have loved…….. not least eeeeeeek there’s a massive boat following us! Of course we’ll always miss Jess and holidays will never be quite the same again; after all we’re a 5 not a 4 and an honoury bear….but Jess was very much with us in spirit and I’m fairly sure Jess would have loved the adventure of it all.😄
Jess’ old school are running 21 marathons! Yes that’s right – a marathon per class! How amazing is that?! Thanks Westerton – It’s a super way to help remember Jess and raise money for Children with Cancer UK at the same time. I know she would love the idea just as much as we do. Good luck everyone!
